Down Time

In less than 12 hours I’ll be leaving my home, my husband and my kids and taking off with my friend for a girls’ night away. We will be gone for 24hrs, 26hrs at the very outside, yet I’ve done more preparation for this short trip than I did for our last family vacation, which saw us all away for the week, plus packing the dog off to the grandmother to be cosseted and also organising, collecting and bringing my parents with us!

How is this possible? How is it that when mam wants to get away from the lunacy for a short break that everything needs to be done, now, yesterday, immediately, it’s an emergency??? And to top it all off, I haven’t even begun packing for myself (luckily I’m not going to need much!)

Before I get a chance to go away I have to meticulously plan the work schedule – because we run our company from our home office, and I’m in charge of distributing jobs to all our sub-contractors, I’ve got to make sure that everything is planned well in advance; that everyone knows their schedule and the fact that I’m away and to please only call me in case of emergency, otherwise call The Hero who is manning the office alone in my absence; but I’ve also got to make sure that all my own work is done well in advance for tomorrow and the following day, because though we aim to be home before lunch, anything can happen and we need to be prepared for all contingencies (did I mention that I’m a Girl Guide leader ?)

So, after I’ve spent quite a few hours letting our subs and my regular clients know that I’ll be away for the day, and I’ve got all my own work up to date, and I’ve filled in the diary and gone through everything with The Hero, twice, to make sure he’s au fait with all our jobs for the next 24-48hrs, and it feels like all I have to do is pack and then I’m off, no, that’s merely the first part of my preparation done.

Next, I thought I’d just pack my bag and get ready to go – nope! Apparently this is the time that everyone needs my undivided attention, and all appear shocked at the prospect of being motherless or wifeless for 24hrs – though rest assured they all know about it, in fact we all spoke about it earlier in the day while we were out running errands and I made a detour to fill my tank so that it’s one less thing to worry about in the morning.

But now, there are clothes that have mysteriously gone missing and are a necessity for a play date in the morning; there are questions that need to be answered about what food they should eat; pick-up and delivery times for the girls’ schedules need to be reassessed, and there are chores that haven’t been completed because…well, for any reason that they can come up with, and the list goes on!

Sometimes it feels like they’re trying to keep me from leaving the house, from getting away from them all for a break, but thankfully I know that’s not true. I know that The Hero understands that I need some time away from work and from the family, some time with my friend to just laugh, chill out and relax. The girls understand that mam wants to spend some alone time with her friend, just like they get to do with their friends (they also understand that the guilt I’ll feel for leaving them all alone for 24hrs will require me to bring them home some gifts too, which helps soothe their soul) And I understand that I’m very lucky to have such a caring family who allow me this time to myself to relax and recharge.

Teenage Kicks

While away for a short family break, myself and The Teenager happened into a department store and she made her way directly to the make up section. Now this isn’t the most auspicious of starts for me because I don’t wear make up, never have, and so consequently don’t know a bloody thing about it, which is not going to help either one of us in the next few minutes!

However, as she browses the rows of somewhat raunchily titled products one of “those” girls makes her way over to us. You know the type, the girls that work in the make up department and always look and smell amazing. The ones you’d hate to have as a best friend because you’d never get to be the most glamorous. No, wait, strike that, the ones you’d love to have as a best friend for all the freebies that you could get – you know, one of those girls?

But this girl, the type I automatically veer away from on each traverse through the make up hall – because let’s face it, the encounter will be good for neither of us, she won’t get a sale and I’ll end up feeling wretched or bitchy – but today was different, The Teenager needs a girl like her in her life right now, and boy did she come through!

The make up girl asked if she could help us with anything? My usual short, sharp response is “NO! Thank you.” but today I bit my tongue and fought my natural instinct and instead I said “Actually, you can. My daughter is just starting out with make up and as I don’t wear any, at all, perhaps you can give her some guidance?”

This girl is my new hero, and I secretly suspects The Teenager’s too 😉 She sat The Teenager down, took a look at her skin and began to give her some hints and tips; you’re too young for foundation, just use some tinted moisturiser; you don’t need lips and eyes done up; a little mascara and blush go a long way, and several more that I can’t remember.

But, in the 10 minutes or so that we were in her company, she held my daughter’s rapt attention; she was kind and not at all pushy with her own products, in fact she went so far as to recommend another brand’s cleanser as her brand would be too harsh on my daughter’s young skin. So, as she applied something to her brows, some mascara and some lip gloss, my 13 year old daughter transformed into a young lady in front of me, in a department store. And she glowed in a way that I couldn’t make happen for her, and for that my heart broke just a little. But, for that one look alone, I am forever indebted to the make up girl with the kind heart and the patience to take her in hand, and to show her the girl that I see every day, the apple of my eye, the light of our lives and the most beautiful teenager that I know.

A Mother’s Guilt

As a mother it’s your job to be guilty, all the time, for something you either did or didn’t do, that’s just the way it is; sometimes we’re even guilty for feeling something, we just can’t win! But today, for once, I had a plan that just might get around that perpetual state of grace.

Today was going to be a big day; the airshow was coming to town and it was a big deal in our house; The Hero and The Teenager were both equally excited – and it’s a rare thing that has them both on script. But, just in case we’d be lulled into a false sense of “happy family-hood” The Terror made her feelings known, repeatedly, and suffice to say she wasn’t nearly as excited as the others about going.

She was given the opportunity of staying at her grandparents’ house but she wasn’t biting, because she’d figured out that there would be no dinner cooked in this house tonight, which could mean only one thing, the Holy Grail of take-out food, and she wasn’t going to miss that!

So off we went, The Hero and The Teenager had charged up batteries for the ‘good’ camera and they’d organised their deck chairs, some jackets in case of chills or rain, some sun cream in case of good weather – the feckin’ list went on and on, and so I just zoned out. When we got to Valhalla, I decided the time was right to get out of Dodge; I told The Hero that I’d take this opportunity to go spend some time with his mother (good wife points!) and off I trotted.

Got to the in-laws’ house, let myself in, got comfy on the sofa, put on a movie and had a snooze. It was bliss! You see, they were out of town, but The Hero had forgotten this gem of information. So today, just for a little while, I managed to attain that all too elusive state of guilt-free relaxation, and it was worth it 🙂